I just googled if crying burns calories
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Houston, we have a blender
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
