Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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