can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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