I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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