I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
