i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
