Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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