He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
