You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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