genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
