In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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