The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize