I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
