hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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