Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
