Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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