I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
