I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
