Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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