I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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