ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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