i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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