He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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