I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
