The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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