My sheets look like a crime scene.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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