apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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