you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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