Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
