Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I think people are normalizing furries
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
