I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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