Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
