Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My ATM looks so different sober.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
