Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Semen is not good for contacts.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
