nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
