dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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