Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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