We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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