We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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