the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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