I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
