Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
