i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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