I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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