Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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