Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize