Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
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