did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
