yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
