After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
