You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize