Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
