Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
