if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
