Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize