Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
