Nicole vs. Life
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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