i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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