Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
