so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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